The other day my son asked me why people who used to go to church stop going, presenting a “teachable moment” on the importance of church in the Christian life. My son was observing a behavior that was already a tendency in the first-century church, as seen when the writer of Hebrews instructed his readers to “not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is.” (Hebrews 10:25)

Let me make clear that I am not writing about people simply going to another church. That is a different topic altogether that should be addressed at another time. Nor am I talking about non-attendance for understandable reasons such as work, caring for an ailing loved one, or sickness.

Rather, I’m referring to people who just stop making room for church in their lives.

The answer I offered my son: Priorities. Some people simply no longer value church attendance enough as a priority in life. The reason that church is no longer a priority to them is because when they were attending church regularly their priority in attendance was most likely wrong. If you attend church for the wrong reason, when the factor that compelled your attendance vanishes, so will you. 

Examples of misplaced motivations for coming to church– where they are the primary reason – include:

• The “fellowship” and friendships. For many, church becomes little more than a social construct. For sure, fellowship is a vital aspect in the life of the church. Acts 2:42 and 1 John 1 both speak about fellowship in the church, and the church is a place where Christians should sense and be able to develop a real sense of authentic community. 

However, this community vibe is not merely one of common interests as is the case with camping, sports, or business endeavors. In every instance where our fellowship as Christians is mentioned in the Bible, it revolves around Christ and His gospel. So if the key reason you are coming to church is socializing with friends, there is a strong possibility you will stop at some point. Because in local churches as in life, people come, and people go. 

• The pastor. When many people describe their church history and life, they inevitably bring up a pastor who helped them, or a Sunday school teacher who mentored them. This is to be expected. 

You can’t – and shouldn’t – discount the role of pastors’ gifts and abilities plays in developing the close-knit personal connections they develop with their churches, even more liturgically driven ones. 

But if members are attending primarily because they enjoy a pastor’s preaching or are attracted by his charisma and personality, when he leaves – and in most cases, he eventually will – his followers will too, especially if a moral or other failing is involved. 

• The programs:. Thank God that our churches have avenues of personal discipleship such as small groups, Bible classes, and Awana or other kids’ ministries. Yet the reality is that your “needs and wants” will change in life, and you will not always feel the need for an Awana’s program because you won’t always have kids at home and you won’t always need a couples ministry because if you live long enough you will be single again. This is the cycle of life! So do not base your attendance in church on what programs the church has or does not have. 
  
• “Feelings.” I cringe when someone says to me, upon leaving our services, “I feel so good when I come to church.” It could be that they do not know exactly how to express the refreshing God brings them as a believer when they come to church. Or they could simply mean that showing up in church temporarily soothes their otherwise convicted consciences – but that is where their relationship with God essentially ends. 

Friend, if you started attending church because it felt good, and that’s what is keeping you there, you will eventually quit. Some Sunday it is going to feel better to roll back over to sleep instead of getting up and acting like everything is great in your life. Some Sunday you will want to go to the racetrack or stay home and watch some football with friends. Or your kids will ask to be allowed to play travel ball, and watching them succeed in athletics will “feel” better than the normal means of grace you receive in church attendance that at times do not “feel” very present. 

Here is the point, to summarize:  if you do not build your life on Christ, church attendance – or any church involvement – will not be a lifelong commitment for you. 

Friend, there is no other way to say it: the church has let me down at times. But I cannot be a serious follower of Christ without the church and while the church has at times disappointed me (and I have disappointed the church), Jesus never has. 

So examine your heart to ensure you are coming out of the right motivation: devotion to Christ, service to Him and other members, according to your gifting, as part of His body.

Then, once you have settled that issue with God, do not walk away, even in times of difficulty – as long as the church remains true to the Gospel and the Word of God, in faith and practice!

Soli Deo Gloria!