As someone who grew up Baptist, remains Baptist, and has no plans to change being Baptist, the discussion of baptism is very important to me. For goodness sakes, baptism is in our denominational name!

Yet the older I have gotten – though I do not want to be a legalist on this point– the more I am frankly amazed at how cavalierly a group of people who supposedly take baptism seriously approaches the subject. 

Actions speak louder than words. A surface-level conversation as to whether a person, either adult or child, has “asked Jesus into her/his heart” should not automatically make that person a candidate for baptism. Yet baptizing children at a very young age is a common occurrence in some Baptist congregations with very little counsel or inquiry. 

From my experience, it is highly probable that the aforementioned children will get baptized twice or more, because the action is preceded by little or no conversation with parents or the kids about the gospel, and the youngsters will inevitably prove to be confused about what it means to be a Christian. I even had one seasoned pastor tell me, when asking about baptizing my own children, “Just baptize them. If they were not a Christian and they become one later, just baptize them again.” 

Friends, this is not advisable! Baptism is a serious - yes sacred - matter and should be approached soberly as well as sensibly.  And I will illustrate why.

One recent president of the Southern Baptist Convention is reported to have been baptized four times in his early life because he was trusting in his feelings and emotions more than the clear work of Christ on the cross and confidently trusting Him. I must confess that I personally have been baptized three times. 

Being baptized more than once – not to mention this many times – can only create confusion about salvation, the gospel, conversion, and what baptism actually is. It certainly did for me. 

With all of that nailed down, and just having recently prepared my second child for baptism at the age of 12, I want to share a few practical suggestions as to when your child might be ready to take part in this ordinance/sacrament. I confess this is a delicate dance because Baptists adhere to believer’s baptism, which occurs only upon a profession of faith in Christ. (We also practice baptism by immersion, of which I hope to write on in the near future.) 

First, your child should not get baptized until he/she understands the gospel. The too-typical “Evangelical-speak” of “ask Jesus into your heart” has distorted many kids’ understanding of the gospel, which according to 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 is:  Jesus’s death on the cross for our sins, burial, and resurrection. Children need to understand these gospel basics. 

Moreover, Jesus called people to respond to the preaching of the gospel in Mark 1:15, in faith and repentance. Faith means confident trust in Christ that He alone can save us from our sins. Repentance means a turning from our sins which leads to a lifelong hatred of sin and seeking to put it to death. If you are talking to your child about baptism, explain this and make sure he or she understands that becoming a Christian is not merely repeating a prayer. It is trusting Jesus as her/his Savior and repentance from his/her sins. Can your son or daughter provide such a Scriptural affirmation in the verbiage of a small child?

Second: Your child must have had, as best you can tell, a definite conversion experience. Conversion is the moment that God makes us His child. Colossians 1:13 explains, “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son.” Although we are sinners and born subjects into the kingdom of darkness, God takes his people from the “Domain of darkness” into the “Kingdom of His beloved Son.” As God gives us this spiritual life and transports us from one spiritual realm to the other, we trust in Christ as our Savior and repent of our sins. 

The exact moment of conversion can be hard to ascertain, but what we as parents should look for is a heart change toward God: evidence in her/his life of knowing Christ as Lord and Savior. Saying a child cannot be baptized before a hard-line, “fill in the blank” age is neither prudent nor practical here. 

What are some of these evidences of conversion? 

• Being old enough and aware enough to discern sins that would keep them from partaking of the Lord’s Table (1 Corinthians 11:27-32) – not to mention old and aware enough to remember such a monumental day. 
• A demonstration of godly repentance toward their sin (2 Corinthians 7:10.) 
• A desire to obey Jesus and His Word (1 John 2:3-6.) 
• A desire to be with other Christians and identify with the church (1 John 3:14.) 
• A hatred for sin and worldliness (1 John 2:15-17.) 

If you do not see such “changed-life” evidence that your child has entered the kingdom of Christ, you are wise to wait, as doing otherwise will only hinder that youngster in her/his spiritual life. I am not advocating perfection or even adult-level spiritual maturity at this point, but rather seeking signs of growth and life! 

Third: a child must grasp that believer’s baptism gives them an official relationship with the church. While children are certainly not expected to live up to a level of maturity an adult would, baptism in the average Baptist church makes one a member. They are not allowed to participate in votes until they are 18 in most congregations (which I think is wise), but a baptized child should be prepared to live out this official relationship by:

• partaking in the Lord’s Supper
• discipleship through kid/teen/youth groups 
• serving in various age-appropriate capacities in the church (e.g., work days, helping at church functions, childcare assistance)
• giving as they make money from their jobs.

Fourth: your child is not ready to be baptized until you are ready to disciple them through the process. For far too long, parents have been comfortable allowing pastors, youth workers, and church programs to disciple their kids. Ephesians 4:11-13 says that Christ has given the church “pastors and teachers” to further equip the saints to do the work of ministry. Meaning most discipling of your child should be done by you, not a pastor, not the youth worker, nor anyone else. 

Once children begin asking you about baptism – and btw, I would not push children to get baptized; let them come to you – before you come to a pastor you must do the legwork not just of ensuring their understanding of the gospel and conversion experience, but explaining what baptism is and the process. If you feel overwhelmed with the responsibility, please understand I or your pastor would be glad to help you through the process. But I as their pastor and your pastor cannot take your place. As Kent and Barbara Hughes say in their book Disciplines of a Godly Family, in the life of your child “one pound of parent is worth more than a hundred pounds of pastor.”  

Fifth: children must be mature enough to have a baptismal interview. Every baptismal candidate should be interviewed by the church elders to make sure they understand the gospel, conversion, and the symbolism of baptism. To alleviate your fears, you are for sure invited to be there with your child and if you have done your due diligence, which you are more than capable of doing, a pastoral interview with her/him is going to be a piece of cake. When children meet with me, it is not going to be asking theologically loaded “gotcha” questions, but rather queries such as: “What did Jesus do for us?” “Tell me when you became a Christian?” These will be topics you will have already gone over with them.  

Dear Parent, your child is too precious to have surface-level conversations about the gospel and baptism. Your child is too precious to not be made to wait until you have assurance of a changed life. Going through this process with them is going to help them not only understand what it means to be a Christian, but it will help them become a healthy church member for life! 

I can tell you, as a parent who just completed this process with my daughter, it has been one of the sweetest memories God has ever let me make. Having her tell me what it means to be a Christian and her wanting to follow Christ in baptism makes this daddy’s heart glad. That is what we all desire. 

I am praying for you, and I am here to help you anyway I can. 

Soli Deo Gloria!