Making decisions and standing by the consequences of our decisions is a part of maturity. Like Adam in the Garden, we often shirk responsibility for our choices and pin it on someone else. Maturity in Christ owns up to our decisions, for good or ill.

Decision-making is a skill in life. Like any other skill or technical ability, you must use that skill to develop it further. If someone is naturally gifted in carpentry, they must use that skill to master it over time. As you hone the skill, learn from others, and learn from your failures, you will improve as a woodworker. Decision-making is no different.

The skill of decision-making has two ditches we must avoid. One ditch is analysis paralysis. Kevin DeYoung observes this struggle in his book, Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will or How to Make Decisions Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc. I imagine the title alone may make some of you buy the book! It is an excellent treatise on how Christians are reasonably to live their lives and make decisions. DeYoung notices that the average Christian in his world is much more deliberate in decision-making, to the point where they struggle to find the “perfect will of God.” This often comes from a desire to please the Lord, but it can also be used as an excuse to keep from making a decision. This is one major problem we have to avoid, and in the spirit of his book, we have to “Just Do Something!”

The other ditch is impulsive decision-making. In my time mentoring young men in pastoring and coaching young men, I see this as a constant issue many of them have. Impulsiveness lives by our feelings rather than logic. Impulsiveness is why young men especially are prone to lust and anger. Decisiveness in decision-making is important, but decisiveness in the wrong direction is devastating. So, how can we grow and get better at the discipline of decision-making?

First, we must filter our decisions through the Word of God. Let’s take marriage, for instance. If a young man is looking to marry a young woman, there are several things he should think about. Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that this young lady is a Mormon and adheres to the teachings of the Mormon Church. She wants to have a family, she is beautiful, and she complements him well in more practical areas like compatibility. Should he marry her if he is a Christian? The answer is most clearly “no”!

We know this if we filter our decisions through the Word of God because 2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us that we are not to be unequally yoked together. A direct application here is that Christians should marry Christians. So, when you filter your decisions through the Word, you know what you should do here.

What about our engagement on social media? Social media is a dumpster fire of controversy and argumentative spirits. Sins like gossip, innuendo, slander, and time-wasting abound on social media. How do you know when you should engage and when to be quiet? The obvious answer is to consider the moral questions above: “Can I engage in a discussion online and not sin? Is the defense of the gospel at stake, and do I need to be the one to defend it? Will my tone be perceived as sinful? How would my family and church family perceive my engagement here? Does this situation really need my opinion? Would the issue be better addressed in a private message or a phone call?”

In other words, wrestle more with the morality of your situation. DeYoung states, “we obsess over the things God has not mentioned and may never mention, while, by contrast, we spend little time on all the things God has already revealed to us in the Bible. In other words, we spend most of our time trying to figure out nonethical decisions.”

So, as we begin thinking about our decisions, big or small, we should ask, “What does the Bible say about my situation?” And as you reason through Scripture, make your decision.

Second, get counsel for your decisions. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We need guidance, and sometimes we need counselors. Whether this comes in the category of formal counseling or informal counseling in conversation, we need counsel, especially when we are stuck and do not know what to do.

What should we look for in a counselor? They need to love you. I do not think you will get far with someone if you do not know, love, and trust them. But more than love, this person needs to be devoted to the truth. I think one way to say it is that your counselors need to love Jesus more than they love you. When we ask their advice, we should not let them become our enemy because they told us the truth. Sometimes they may agree with you, and sometimes they may not. Even if you receive rebuke from a dear friend, remember that they love you. That is why they said it. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Who should you seek counsel from? Your spouse. If you have a godly spouse, you are blessed beyond measure. Talk to them. Talk to your pastor or elders, Bible study leaders at church, and godly friends. Talk to mom and dad or grandparents. Make your circle wide enough to be diverse, but small enough to be meaningful.

When should you get counsel? Simply put, when you do not know what to do.

Third, learn from your mistakes. My dad told me a thousand times when I was growing up, “Son, you always have to learn the hard way!” Going to the school of hard knocks is not easy, but it is often the most profound teacher.

Age and life experience should be excellent teachers, but often they are not. If a man has been making the same foolish decisions for 50 years, he is not growing in wisdom. He is a fool. Learn the distastefulness of sin. Remember the heartbreak of remorseful repentance. Thank God, the blood of Christ covers the past, but remember it and don’t go back to it.

Also, learn from the mistakes of others. Romans 15:4 says, “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” Let us be well aware of the great characters and stories of the Bible, and let us learn from their mistakes so that we do not repeat them.

Fourth, have long-term plans. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” While this verse discusses financial decisions, long-term plans for family, career, or education could still fall into this category.

This does not mean that we are presuming upon the future. James 4:13–15 tells us, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” We do not literally have to say, “God willing,” as many Christians do, but that sentiment should be in our hearts.

Long-term planning will help you stay the course in your life. If God changes your plans by His providence, so be it. His ways are the best ways!

As a reminder, we are decision-makers. To live life is to make decisions, and to make decisions means you stand behind your decisions. I trust that you will use the Word of God to work through your decisions. I trust you will get counsel when needed. I trust you will learn from your mistakes and that you will have peace through making plans and letting God change them as He wills. Just do something, and if you need to pivot, then pivot!

Soli Deo Gloria!